Hy, please be so kind to rate this essay, it is also my first one

You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

I would like to start by stating that choosing between a house and a business it’ s a very difficult decision and a very difficult position to be put in. I can honestly say that I am not able to take it without knowing the answer to questions like: do I have a current job; are my business skills good enough to be successful; is there anyone else that would be effected by this decision like a family member? Without having an answer for these questions I do not think it’s possible to make a decision, maybe cause I’m also a Libra and I have to weigh in my options very carefully.

As you may think of it from my point of view there are ups and downs for both of these choices. On one hand you buy the house and no matter if you have a job or not, you will have a place to stay. As hygene and rest are key elements in finding a new job, it would be a great advantage to have a roof over your head without being obliged to pay rent. However, on the other hand, by purchasing a business and with the outcome that it will be successful, you can profit enough to buy a house. This advantage would not be possible if a house was purchased instead.

If indeed I had to get down to it and absolutely make this choice, I would just try to estimate at what point am I in my life: do I trust enough my business skills or not. If in that point I believe I have the necessary education and experience to be at least 80% successful I would choose the business but if not I would by the house.

TOEFL listening lectures: To which entertainment does the lecturer not relate Greek drama?

Hi, I am not an English teacher, but I am a native English speaker. I would be happy to give my opinions of your essay. Your use of the language is quite good - you sound like a native speaker to me. But the overall tone of the essay is way too informal. You should study the format that the graders are looking for in essays like this. They want an introductory paragraph which outlines the problem ending with a thesis statement which clearly states the position you are taking. Then two or three paragraphs which elaborate the arguments you are making. Then a concluding paragraph which restates your thesis and gives a brief summary of the arguments you have made.