I’m going to have a test next Thursday. Please help me correct my essay and give suggestions. Thank you!
How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific example to support your answer.
Television’s influence has been an appealing topic. Many sociologists are tying to find out different causes. My writing will critically discuss about the main ones.
First and fore most, what takes my priority is unsuitable programs. It cannot be denied that there are various programs children shouldn’t watch. Their subjects are not for children. Others include violent scene. More terribly, children usually copy what they have seen on TV. According to some researches, more children and teenagers have to go into jail because of using violence. They don’t really understand their purpose when they do that. They are just trying to be like the characters on TV. By and large, unsuitable programs have bad effect on children.
Second of all, activity is undoubtedly of paramount importance. It is clearly seen that when we watch TV, we are doing nothing but sitting and watching. All the time we spend in front of the television is time that we aren’t likely to move around, hang out or play sport. We are bound to be inactive. More dangerously, watching TV too much makes us tired. We tend to feel sleepy all day. It is impossible for us to focus on our work. We certainly become lazier and slower. In deed, television influences our activity.
Last but not least, personal enjoyment draws much of my attention. The fact is that watching television makes us not exercise our imagination. The stories have already been told for us. We are certain to see the characters instead of imagine them. We don’t have a chance to create our own ending for the stories. More seriously, when we watch television, we also change our hobbies. We’d rather watch a movie than read a fiction. We’d rather watch sports on TV than play sports our selves. We are losing real fun. Without any doubt, television changes our personal enjoyment.
All in all, television affects negatively our behavior such as unsuitable programs, activity and personal enjoyment. I highly recommend that sociologists should carefully consider my writing to make a wise decision on television’s influence.
TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student try to do with his next essay?