Hi, Luschen. Please help me check and rate this essay!

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer.

When somebody takes part in a game; certainly he or she has the wish of winning it. However, do not think that we only have fun when we defeat the others; we can find the games interesting when we play with our friends even if we lose, in my opinion. Winners are not always fun and it is not necessary for losers to be sad.

First of all, we cannot say that everyone is excited when they win. For examples, when I was a child I often won my friends in cards games by cheating; I learnt to get the expected and powerful card when I distributed the cards among players. To be honest, I did not feel very happy because it was not my capability that helped me win the game; it is all about cheating. Additionally, try to think about a person who wins the game by luck; could he feel any sense of victory and think that he deserves it? Besides, we often play games with our close friends and looking at their disappointed faces when they lose to you could make your happiness go away swiftly.

Secondly, I support the point that losers do not have to be sad. I usually play football with my friends and no matter what the result is, we definitely feel very relaxed after each hard day at the university. I remember that once time I suffered from a hard injury but I still found the game was so interesting; my friends were all concerned about my injury and helped me to go home. As another illustration, playing card in the first day of the year is a tradition in my country; if you are a loser, you must drink some beers as fine. I think that fine is not hard at all, we can drink beer and chat with others; the person who drinks most beers can feel the most excited even.

To conclude, it is unreasonable to declare that only winners of the games can be fun. The most important thing when you play a game with your friends is to try to have fun and respect others, from my perspective. The results of the games do not matter much to me; it’s all about my feeling when I can have a good time with my friends.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is one problem with contribution approach?

Hi Helias, I thought this essay was very good. I really like reading your essays with their interesting detailed personal examples. You did a great job of supporting your viewpoints with very persuasive arguments. You did have a few errors here and there and some phrases that were not really incorrect, but which could be stated a little more naturally. Overall, I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.