Hi Luschen,Please check and grade my IELTS essay

[Jt6112]

Hello Luschen,
Please check and grade my IELTS essay on band of 0-9.

TOPIC - Modern high-technology is transforming the way we work and is a benefit to society. To what extent do you agree?

In today’s world, the use of technology is ever increasing. Even in day to day activities recent technology can be commonly seen. It is agreed that the technological evolution is truly beneficial to entire society. Analyzing both the skill of super computer managing critical applications as well as advanced machine-tools’ ability to perform work of thousands of men in no time will show this.

Firstly, Computer, a greatest find in the history of mankind has made lives easy and able to provide solutions to most tricky real-life situations. For instance, core banking solutions has not only proven to be tangible in superior customer experience but also phenomenal in terms of data security. It is simply unimaginable if modern technology would not have been progressed till this development. Thus this makes it clear why society is largely benefited by the advance technology and hence the way we work.

Secondly, machine-tools that perform activity of thousands of men with great precision and accuracy in fairly shorter duration proved to be beyond human capacity. Take car manufacturing company such as Ford, as an example. Ford automated car assembly in Chennai produces 1000 cars in one shift. This is simply impossible to human beings. From this it becomes quite evident that the technology plays pivotal role in terms of getting things done quickly as well as accurately.

In a nutshell, computers and mechanical machine-tools are the two extensions of modern technological progression and have been proven important for society’s advancement. Thus it is clear that modern technology has transformed the way we work in positive manner. After analyzing this subject, it is predicted that the positive aspects of the technology over human progression will forever be stronger than the negative ones and because of this society will constantly be benefitted.

[296 Words]

TOEFL listening lectures: Which of the following is true of biological indicators?

[Luschen]

Hi, I thought your essay was pretty good. You have addressed the topic well and provided some good details to support your arguments. Your writing is generally very clear, though you do have a few vague phrases. You have an extensive vocabulary, but some of your words are not used quite correctly in the context and you have a couple of awkward sounding sentences. Your grammar is good, but you do have some small errors here and there. Overall, I would rate this a band 6.5.

@Jt6112

Hello Luschen,
Please check and grade my IELTS essay on band of 0-9.

TOPIC - Modern high-technology is transforming the way we work and is a benefit to society. To what extent do you agree?

In today’s world, the use of technology is ever increasing. Even in day[-]to[-]day activities[,] recent technology can be commonly seen. It is agreed that the technological evolution is truly beneficial to [the] entire society. Analyzing both the skill of super[-]computer[s ] managing critical applications as well as advanced machine-tools’ ability to perform [the] work of thousands of men in no time will show this.

Firstly, [the c] omputer, a[the] greatest {“the greatest”, “a greater”} find {“find” sounds odd here - the computer was invented not found or even discovered} in the history of mankind has made lives easy and able to {this is not parallel enough - maybe “and has brought the ability to”} provide solutions to [the] most tricky real-life situations. For instance, core banking solutions {what is a “core banking solution”? Maybe you mean “online banking solutions”?} ha[ve] not only proven to be tangible in superior customer experience but also phenomenal in terms of data security. It is simply unimaginable if modern technology would not have been progressed till this development. {this sounds odd - maybe “unimaginable for modern technology not to have progressed to this stage of development”} Thus this makes it clear why society is largely benefited by the advance[d ] technology and hence the way we work.{this is unclear - do you mean benefited by the way we work or that the way we work has also benefitted?}

Secondly, machine-tools that perform [the] activit[ies] of thousands of men with great precision and accuracy in fairly shorter duration proved to be beyond human capacity. {this last phrase sounds pretty odd} Take car manufacturing compan[ies] such as Ford, as an example. [The] Ford automated car assembly [plant] in Chennai produces 1000 cars in one shift. This is simply impossible to[for] human beings.{well, human beings built the plant, I assume, so not really impossible - maybe “This production level would simply be impossible for human workers performing all the operations by hand”} From this [example] it becomes quite evident that the technology plays [a] pivotal role in terms of getting things done quickly as well as accurately.

In a nutshell, computers and mechanical{“mechanized” or better “automated”} machine-tools are the two extensions of modern technological progression and have been proven important for society’s advancement. Thus it is clear that modern technology has transformed the way we work in [a] positive manner. After analyzing this subject, it is predicted that the positive aspects of the technology over human progression {“over human progression” sounds odd, like technology is better than human progression} will forever be stronger than the negative ones and because of this[,] society will constantly be benefitted.

[296 Words]

TOEFL listening lectures: Which of the following is true of biological indicators?

[Jt6112]

Hello Luschen,

Thanks a ton for detailed analysis. I will definately improve and would like to evaluate few more essays from you.