Hi Luschen. Could you rate my essay? that is a little bit short...

[Rec]

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why
you think it has changed people’s lives.
• automobiles
• bicycles
• airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Despite the fact that there has been invented many wehicles, such as cars, trains that have a profound impact on making easy our life, airplanes are the most prominent wehicles of the last century on account of their incessant benefits. Personally, I think that airplanes are the most important transportation wehicles that facilitate people`s life so much. Transportation, saving time and making easy and enjoyable the vacation are some of the significant reasons why airplanes have many positive effects on our lives.

To begin with, airplanes are considerable wehicles in terms of transportation of both goods and people. There are many airplane companies, such as Lufthansa, Turkish Airlines, which make quite easy the transportation thanks to these impressive wehicles. Also, many multinational companies use airplanes, especially cargo airplanes, in order to transport their commodities readily and safely. Most of people, for example, use airplanes in order to reach from a point to another easily and comfortably.

In addition, along with the transportation, these wehicles are really important for saving time, since they are the fastest devices that human-beings has ever made. That is important on the grounds that people show an utmost importance to time. By way of example, due to the fact that time is indispensable factor for businessmen, many of them buy an airplane in order to reach their appointments on the time. Therefore, in terms of saving time, these amazing wehicles are very crucial for them.

Finally, another reason why airplanes have a great impact on people`s life is that these wehicles make the vacation easy and enjoyable, as they can fly wherever people want. That is of course important because cars or other public transportaion wehicles can not pass the Atlantic ocean. Nevertheless that is not impossible when travelling by an airplane that can overcome with that. To illustrate, I have never seen and heard the passing of a car or another wehicles over the ocean. While oceans prevent cars from reaching to another continental, people flying by aircraft in a enjoyable and comfortable way.

To sum up, except airplanes, there are also other wehicles that facilitate journey or transportation ; however, in terms of easy transportation of people and goods, saving time and ready and enjoyable vacations, airplanes are the most important wehicles of the 20th. century.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation in a professor’s office between a professor and a student

[Luschen]

Hi Rec, your essay is not too bad. It didn’t seem that short to me. Your structure and examples were pretty good, but you seemed to stress the fact that airplanes can travel over oceans a little too much. And why did you keep saying “wehicles”? You also had some sentence structure problems like in your first sentence and some odd sounding word choices. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

@Rec

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why
you think it has changed people’s lives.
• automobiles
• bicycles
• airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Despite the fact that there[many vehicles] ha[ve] been invented many wehicles, such as cars, trains[, and ships] that have [had] a profound impact on making easy our life [easier], airplanes are the most prominent [v]ehicles of the last century on account of their incessant {“incessant” has a bad connotation to me - like something irritating which never stops} benefits. Personally, I think that airplanes are the most important transportation [v]ehicles that facilitate people`s life so much.{this last phrase sounds awkward} Transportation, saving time and making [vacations] easy and enjoyable the vacation are some of the significant reasons why airplanes have many positive effects on our lives.

To begin with, airplanes are considerable [v]ehicles {“play a considerable role” sounds better} in terms of transportation of both goods and people. There are many airplane companies, such as Lufthansa [and] Turkish Airlines, which make quite easy the transportation [quite easy] thanks to these impressive [v]ehicles. Also, many multinational companies use airplanes, especially cargo airplanes, in order to transport their commodities readily and safely. Most of people, for example, use airplanes in order to reach[travel] from a[one] point to another easily and comfortably.

In addition, along with the transportation, these [v]ehicles are really important for saving time, since they are the fastest devices{I would not describe an airplane as a “device”} that human-beings ha[ve] ever made. {what about spacecraft?} That is important on the grounds that people show[give] {you show respect but give importance} an utmost importance to time. By way of example, due to the fact that time is [an] indispensable factor for businessmen, many of them buy an airplane in order to reach their appointments on the time. Therefore, in terms of saving time, these amazing wehicles are very crucial for them. {this paragraph was better than the previous one}

Finally, another reason why airplanes have a great impact on people`s life is that these [v]ehicles make the vacation[s ] easy and enjoyable, as they can fly wherever people want. That is of course important because cars or other public transportaion{spelling} [v]ehicles can not pass the Atlantic [O]cean. Nevertheless that is not impossible when travelling by an airplane [, since water barriers are easily overcome] that can overcome with that. To illustrate, I have never seen and heard the passing of a car or another wehicles over the ocean.{this seems like an odd example, and what about ships and submarines?} While oceans prevent cars from reaching to another continental, people flying by aircraft in a enjoyable and comfortable way. {this is not a complete sentence - people flying by aircraft what? You need a verb - flying is used as an adjective. I guess you mean “people fly by aircraft …”}

To sum up, except [along with] airplanes, there are also other [v]ehicles that facilitate journ[ies] or transportation ; however, in terms of easy transportation of people and goods, saving time and ready and enjoyable vacations, airplanes are the most important [v]ehicles of the 20th. century.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation in a professor’s office between a professor and a student