Hi Kitos, could you please evaluate my essay…
Thankyou…
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?
Although there are some advantages in living away from families, I believe that it is best for the adults to live with family members for many reasons.
I believe that there are many responsibilities for a person, once he reaches the adult stage. Before adult stage, parents has the responsibility towards their kids and since adult stage, kids has the responsibility towards their parents. I am being an adult, I have responsibilities like taking care of my parents, and has to keep them comfortable considering both financial aspect and personal aspect like showing loving and affection. Since parents are getting old, they would only expect love and affection from us, as this is the second child stage for them. I feel proud for getting a chance of being responsible for my parents, since they are the ones who are responsible for our life in this beautiful world and also they took several efforts and faced several obstacles to bring me up. I think that, to be responsible for our parents, we have to live with our parents.
Another reason is that living with the family members would cultivate positive character and thoughts within the children. We are living in a computerized, competitive and modernized world and thus, there are many people in the society who will induce and grant chances to follow the wrong path. All the wrong activities will result in temporary pleasure and long term sadness. Being an adult is the critical stage where there will be too much of oscillation in every situation of which path to follow and which not to follow. Other than family members, none of the people from the society would lead us to the correct path and none of them also would expect us to be happy both in the present and in the future. Parents would always think in broad manner and would make us to pursue the path to get a bright and happy future. Thus, we have to share everything and have to live with our parents.
People in adult stage have the responsibility to take care of the parents and they are the ones who make us to realize, ‘those that look good on the outside may not be so in reality’. Thus to conclude, I would say that adults have to live with their parents.
TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the adviser’s office?
Hi Kitos, could you please evaluate my essay…
Thankyou…
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?
Although there are some advantages in living away from families, I believe that it is best for the YOUNG adults to live with family members for many reasons.
I believe that there are many responsibilities for a person once he reaches the adult stage. Before adult stage THAT parents HAVE the responsibility towards their kids and AFTER REACHING THAT STAGE adult stage, kids has the HAVE responsibility towards their parents. I am being an adult(.) I have responsibilities like taking care of my parents, and HAVE to keep them comfortable considering both financial aspect and personal aspectS(,) like showing lovE and affection. Since MY parents are getting old, they would only expect love and affection from us, as this is the second child stage for them. I feel proud for getting a chance of being responsible for my parents, since they are the ones who are responsible for our life in this beautiful world(,) and also they took several efforts and faced several OVERCAME NUMEROUS PROBLEMS AND obstacles to bring me up. I think that, to be responsible for our parents, we have to live with our parents.
Another reason is that living with the family members would cultivate positive character and thoughts within the children. We are living in a computerized, competitive and modernized world and thus, there are many people in the society who will induce and grant chances to follow the wrong path. All the wrong activities will result in temporary pleasure and long term sadness. Being an adult is the critical stage where there will be too much of oscillation in every situation of which path to follow and which not to follow. Other than family members, none of the people from the society would lead us to the correct path and none of them also would expect us to be happy both in the present and in the future. Parents would always think in A broad manner and would make us to pursue the path to get a bright and happy future. Thus, we have to share everything and have to live with our parents.
People in adult stage have the responsibility to take care of the parents and they are the ones who make us to realize, ‘those that look good on the outside may not be so in reality’. Thus to conclude, I would say that YOUNG adults have to live with their parents.
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Good morning Priyasathiya. Not bad. Never write “kids” in your essay … always CHILDREN.
Kitos. 7.5/10