Hi admin, please help me check my essay and grade it in IELTS bandscore.

Thank you very much for checking my latter essay.
And can you recommend me some books to improve writing and the way to raise Ielts bandscore!

Essay 2:

In many countries prisons is considered the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued to be more effective way. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is a fact that, there has been an increase prevalance of criminals internationally. We know that strict rules, regualations are the common ways to threat bad guys. Besdisdes, imprisonment is also mostly considered the best method to mitigate illigal activites. Of late, many people ; however, are in opinion that the education system is better. This essay tries to analyse this issue in detail.

To begin with, government and authorites are struglling to implement somw rules to force people to follow. Therefore, if anyone take illigal actions, they will be afraid of being fined. With the unbalanced changing of the world, however, criminals are absolutely more hazardous. For instance, some people say murder now use terrible methodes to kill people. So they must be detained in a jail and criminal behaviour should be increased imprisonment.

Contrary to the above view, many people assume that criminals as a result of lacking fundamental human qualities such as: kindness, empathy, integrity. Obviously, a proper education is indispensible. They should be taught and orinented to find the best way to live. When a criminal is taken into custody, they will feel pessimistic. And, if they are being given too strict punishment, they will more and more bored. The thinking of having a new chance to turn into a new leaf will disappear. Moreover, when they’re out of prison, they still don’t aware of their mistakes and repeat doing bad things.

To sum up, both imprisonment and education system are good way to lessen crime rate. Education; however, is better in long term.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do the Lascaux cave paintings probably not qualify as graffiti?

Hi Huganegi, I thought your essay was not too bad. You have some good content and I think you have addressed the prompt correctly. I would spend more time giving and supporting your own personal opinion though. You do have an awful lot of misspelled words though and some of your phrases are not structured quite correctly. Also, try to tie each example back the the thesis a little more explicitly. Overall, I would rate this a band 6.