Hello Luschen, please rate my IELTS essay on 0-9 scale. Thanks in advance.

In present-day society, whether young people should undertake a period of work helping other social members without salary is a frequent topic of discussion. Some people insist that it is unrealistic to urge adolescents to commit themselves to the social activities . While from my perspective, not only our society but also these teenagers will from the social activities.

It is manifest that participation in the community work will generate numerous positive outcomes to the adolescents. To begin with, it is a good chance for them to put what they have obtained from the campus and lectures into practice. As many young adults mainly gain knowledge from the textbooks or their teachers, whether these theories are valid when confronted with social reality is uncertain. By taking part in the social work, this doubt will be addressed. Furthermore, helping others with their own ability can foster a sense of social obligation. Apparently, the sense of social obligation is far more essential than the knowledge and money, only those with high moral values and ethics can contribute to the well-being of our community. Last but not least, young adults will also benefit from the community services practice. By that I mean, through helping other individuals, they can sense what they have acquired already and what they have not. A sense of self-consciousness will help to improve their performance in the future career work.

On the other hand, some individuals argue that urge teenagers to participate in the community work against their own will can breeds adverse effects. Obviously, these adolescents may have a hard time getting accustomed to the social work and life, but further analysis would make it clear that it is a practical way to forge these young adults which will enable them better prepared for the challenge in the near future.

On the basis of the above analysis, my conclusion is that young individuals should undertake a period of work to aid people in the neighbourhoods. More importantly, I am convinced that it would be well-advised to carry out more incentive actions to encourage increasingly more teenagers to take part in the community service work.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation about toys

Hi Zachray, another great essay. Once again, I think your content is superb, but your execution was lacking in a few areas. You have some missing words, some incorrect words, and some word choices that are ok, but could be improved. Overall, I would rate this a band 6. Sorry to keep giving you the same score, but I honestly believe that is what this would rate.

Hi, Lu! There is no need to be sorry. I should be thankful for your thoughtful work.:blush: