GRE issue essay: The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes...

Hi folks. A greenhand in preparong GRE tests. I would really appreciate your help


Topic:
“The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.”


Essay:

As far as I am concerned, the first half of the statement, that asserts the way people look dress and act can be taken as a mirror for their attitudes and interests, is always well-conceived. But the second half, which claims the appearances and behaviors of individuals, may not proves to be reasonable all the time. To discuss the statement efficiently, we need to clarify that it may stand true at some certain level, but not always accurately.

First and foremost, we must recognize the fact that the way people think, appear and behave, which reveals their attitudes and interests, is largely affected by the age and society which they live in. In most cases, society affects it by the formation of prevailing fashions and cultural characteristics of the times, which are commonly called the custom. This is deeply rooted in the propaganda and education, as well as based on the development of politics and economy. People are exerted a subtle influence on while they may not recognize the fact. One who defy it would be viewed like an ‘alien’ and unable to integrate into society

However, it is worthy of further discussion that the way people look, dress and act can represent what the whole society holds and values comprehensively and accurately. When speaking from the personal level, the answer tends to be negative. As to one certain person, his appearance and behavior would probably derive from many factors, such economic situation, religious faith, living circumstances and even a transient frame of mind. If someone tries to judge a society’s ideas and values according to a mere handful of people, then the conclusion may turn out to be meaningless or absurd.

As the viewpoint fails to stand true while considering isolated issues, it evolves into a valid claim when we promote our discussion from the personal level up to the social level. Karl Marx, the founder of Marxism, once said: “No one could really go beyond his age. “I take his words for granted. A general analysis of society custom and preferences would serve to show the mainstream, avoiding the impact of subjectivity which varies from one person to another, and other accidental factors. Historians are also quite likely to agree that the study on citizens’ ways of thinking, clothing and dealing with affairs can always provide a key to learning about the social conditions of the past.

In modern society, the globalization brings about unprecedented diversity of thinking and behavioral patterns. Some may doubt whether it is still possible to conclude anything about the entire society from it. As a matter of fact, diversity itself is the main characteristic in our age. The irreversible general trend of social development is to become varying and cross-permeating, which can be reflected in our daily life

To summarize, we may safely claim that we cannot pass any stable verdict upon a society’s ideas and values from an individual, but the synthesis of all member’s behavior and thoughts would offer forceful commentary on what the society is like. Therefore, observing the appearance and behavior of its people is a helpful method to gain an understanding of the society after all.

Hi folks. A greenhand in preparong GRE tests. I would really appreciate your help


Topic:
“The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.”


Essay:

As far as I am concerned, the first half of the statement, that asserts the way people look dress and act can be taken as a mirror for their attitudes and interests, (REPETITIVE.)is always well-conceived. But the second half, which claims the appearances and behaviors of individuals, may not PROVE to be reasonable all the time. To discuss the statement /efficiently/LOGICALLY/, we need to clarify that it may stand true at some certain level, but not always accurately.

First and foremost, we must recognize the fact that the way people think, appear and behave, which reveals their attitudes and interests, AND is largely affected by the age and society IN which they live in. In most cases, society affects it by the formation of prevailing fashions and cultural characteristics of the times, which are commonly called the custom. This is deeply rooted in the propaganda and education, as well as based on the development of politics and economy. People are exerted BY a subtle influence on while they may not recognize the fact. One who DEFIES it would be viewed like an ‘alien’ and WOULD BE unable to integrate into society

However, it is worthy of further discussion that the way people look, dress and act can represent what the whole society holds and values comprehensively and accurately. When speaking from the personal level, the answer tends to be negative. As to one certain person, his appearance and behavior would probably derive from many factors, such economic situation, religious faith, living circumstances and even a transient frame of mind. If someone tries to judge a society’s ideas and values according to a mere /handful of people/INDIVIDUAL/, then the conclusion may turn out to be meaningless or absurd.

As the viewpoint fails to stand true while considering isolated issues, it evolves into a valid claim when we promote our discussion from the personal level up to the social level. Karl Marx, the founder of Marxism, once said: “No one could really go beyond his age. “I take his words for granted. A general analysis of societIES customS and preferences would serve to show the mainstream, avoiding the impact of subjectivity which varies from one person to another, and other accidental factors. Historians are also quite likely to agree that the study on citizens’ ways of thinking, clothing and dealing with affairs can always provide a key to learning about the social conditions of the past.

In modern society, the globalization brings about unprecedented diversity of thinking and behavioral patterns. Some may doubt whether it is still possible to conclude anything about the entire society from it. As a matter of fact, diversity itself is the main characteristic in our age. The irreversible general trend of social development is to become varying and cross-permeating, which can be reflected in our daily life

To summarize, we may safely claim that we cannot pass any stable verdict upon a society’s ideas and values from an individual, but the synthesis of all member’s behavior and thoughts would offer forceful commentary on what the society is like. Therefore, observing the appearance and behavior of its people is a helpful method OF gainING an understanding of the society after all.
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All in all I found your work to be only fair. I do not think it is good enough to impress most examiners. I personally found it to be disorganised, with random ideas appearing to have just been pulled out of the air. I don’t know what Tutor Phil will think of it, but I found it boring. Sorry.

Kitos. 7/10

To be honest, I am not a native speaker and learn English just by myself. I take GRE test in pursuit of my further study, my life dream. Your critical words make me a little upset, hah, but I know you are right. That is why I come here for improvement in my esaay writing.
I have to say “thanks” for taking your so much time. And I would really appreciate it if you are kind enough to give me more guidance about how to organize well and make the essay more impressive.

Let’s review your second essay first, shall we?

I am not a foreign student too. I also need someone to help me with my writing.