GRE Essay ..need to be analyzed...

Government never censure artistic works or historical displays that a museum wishes to exhibit"

The speaker’s assertion is about the censureship of artistic works or historical displays by the government.According to the speaker, govenrment should not censure artistic works.Although ,some people believe that arts should provide education and enlightenment to society,I agree with the speaker’s contention as such behavior borders on thought control and impinges on freedom of speach.

To support this viewpoint, a free society is based on the principle that each and every individual has the right to decide what art or entertainment he or she want to receive or create. Art is about feelings, both bad and good ones, so art can not be censored, it will restrict the feelings of artists. Censorship in art never works. One way or another, in a society of instant communication like ours, people are always ready to see controversial and objectionable works. Censorship is an infectious disease. Allowing restraints on any expression sets the stage for attacks on all expression that is politically and artistically objectionable. The creative art must be free and when it is not, society suffers badly. It is very important for the images in the mirror to continuously changing so they may accurately reflect us.

Moreover, the proper role of government is not to monitor works of art,there are more important issues which deserve attention. Government can fund to the non profit organizations like-(museums, theaters, atiliers, e.t.c).Anytime when an artist’s work is modified or censored; their personal rights are being clearly violated. That is illegal and should be stopped, but for some unknown reason the government keeps doing it. Censoring art is also wrong in the fact that politicians and lawyers are telling how and in what way people should be allowed to express their concepts and feelings. Removing a form of expression, may cause more problems in other aggressive ways. When someone does not have a creative or right way to express their ideas and feelings, signifies that they are being oredered to express themselves in a dangerous and violent way.

Another reason why I am against art censorship is that although some forms of speech or art are clearly and destructively abusive, there might be a time in one’s life when one needs to breech and exercise the censors standard to transmit or receive information without government restrictions. However, society only benefits from this if people exercise this discretion honestly and wisely, and destructive and abusive speech is the rare exception, rather than the standard.Hence, I agree with the authors assertion that government should not censure artistic works.

Please rate my essay and lemme know about my mistakes…I would really appreciate that…

Thanks and Regards

Ruchi Bhatt

Well I think your essay is lacking of a system. The issue we called is represented a paradox. It means we never say a problem being absolutely correct or wrong. So if you want to make your viewpoints to be more objective, it usually would be better that to build a system for this topic.

So the major problem is how to build this system. I think the first step you need to do is pick out the keywords in this topic. For example, in your topic, the keywords I thought are the Goverment, cencure, the exhibitions.

So now your topic is becaming a shoter one. You may find a relationship amond these words. Because how we define a SYSTEM is we had accknowledged that each of elements during this system are being affecting with each other. We can not talk about any one without others. So if we knew this we can to consider that what the kind of relationships in those elements. In fact, the essential of this topic is to tell us that what is the relationship between government and arts work institutes.

So the next step we will do is clarify this connection. At the first, we must to define what is the “arts exhibitions”? why we need those or which functions it have? To the further we can talk about that why the government wants to control those of exhibitions causing by their functions. And then it can discuss that how the government to obtain their wants and what the impacts were. At the end you can make your conclusion and at that point you dont have to focus on telling people you agree or disagree this statement because you had built a complete system and your attitudes also had been stated clearly in this, though it would have any " I support…" =)

I hope it would be a little helpful for you before the test.

Thanks a lot for giving me some valuable advice…Now, i clearly undertstand how i mistook the issue…I should have gone through its every aspect, instead of explaing about the pros and cons of Censureship of arts on the society…

also,while mentioning the realtionship between arts and Govt., can i expalin that government started funding arts since the long era of GREAT DEPRESSION…will it be worth it mentioning this or not…

Once again, I am very thankful for ur advice…

Thanks and Regards,

can you please telll me after my such mistakes, how you would have rated this…will it be less than 2?

I think to rate your issue is not an important thing. Because I am not the test reader, and everybody has different logical system which will judge essays by their own system. Even if I give your 6 now, it won’t shown that the score is the final ending. But in my opinion, I think if you are a beginner in writing this kind of essay, the condition would be normal. And then through your practising more and more you may get 4or5. So it depends.

Plus, I suggest you to use more your own words and sentence structures. Well firstly you must guarantee that you write the standard English, and beside that you would better to make your essays to be a little different from others. Think of you are a test reader and you have to qulify hundreds of essays every day, which kind of essays would be more attracted to you?

Everybody will prefer the insightful minds and thoughts, so you don’t have to build your style as a peculiar way, but the better choice is to form an independent language style by mixing your charming minds. So the THOUGHTS is the most significant element you need to enhance.

Ya, I didn’t say that you should not to talk about the pros and cons, I just say you would not say MERELY the positive and passive aspects. Surely those aspects are important, however, at the same time the advanced way is to find out the consequences caused them and to track the impact reasoned by them, after that you can make a logical system. And that would be more convincing and more rational as a issue.