Global Education Rate - IELTS Task 1

[Trangpg]

Hi Luschen, could you rate my newest IELTS essay Task 1?
Thank you very much, Luschen.

A glance at the two bar charts provided reveals some information about the proportion of students who attend secondary schools, colleges and universities in 4 different regions of the world.

As can be seen from the graph, people in European countries are far more likely to be educated than any other countries. It is also apparent that the rates of secondary education among female in all regions except East Asia are higher than those of their male counterpart. Meanwhile, the higher education saw the opposite trend.

It is estimated that all girls in European countries receive secondary education while this figure among European boys is 10% lower. Sub-Saharan Africa experiences the same pattern as Europe, in which the figures recorded for girls and boys are 20 and 10 percent respectively. However, this region ranks the lowest position in terms of the current rate of secondary education. Latin America and East Asia have moderate levels of secondary education, about 40 and 50 percent for both genders.

When it comes to the percentages of people who receive higher schooling, the figures all over the world are much lower. It is noticeable that higher education is still common in Europe, with about 50 and 40 percent for female and male respectively. In other regions, the rates among male are higher than those of the opposite sex. 25 percent men and 20 percent women in Sub-Saharan Africa attend colleges. The figures for Latin America and East Asia are marginally higher.

TOEFL listening discussions: How long should the student’s essays be?

[Luschen]

Hi Trangpg, I thought you did a very good job with this one - probably one of your best so far. You summarized and explained the data very clearly, with only a few minor errors here and there. Overall, I would rate this a band 7.

@Trangpg

Hi Luschen, could you rate my newest IELTS essay Task 1?
Thank you very much, Luschen.

A glance at the two bar charts provided reveals some information about the proportion of students who attend secondary schools, colleges and universities in 4 different regions of the world.

As can be seen from the graph, people in European countries are far more likely to be educated than [those of] {it was ok, but this seems better} any other countries. It is also apparent that the rates of secondary education among female[s ] in all regions except East Asia are higher than those of their male counterpart[s ]. Meanwhile, the higher education saw the opposite trend.

It is estimated that [virtually] all girls in European countries receive secondary education while this figure among European boys is 10% lower. Sub-Saharan Africa experiences the same pattern as Europe,{I would say “a similar pattern”, as the numbers are much lower, though are the same relative to each other] in which the figures recorded for girls and boys are 20 and 10 percent respectively. However, this region ranks the lowest position {or “holds the lowest position”} in terms of the current rate of secondary education. Latin America and East Asia have moderate levels of secondary education, about 40 and[to] 50 percent for both genders.

When it comes to the percentages of people who receive higher schooling, the figures all over the world are much lower. It is noticeable that higher education is still {“still” implies that the number is going down, which I don’t think is the case - I think you meant “that even higher education is common…”} common in Europe, with about 50 and 40 percent for female[s ] and male[s ] respectively. In other regions, the rates among male[s ] are higher than those of the opposite sex. 25 percent [of] men and 20 percent [of]women in Sub-Saharan Africa attend colleges. The figures for Latin America and East Asia are marginally higher.

TOEFL listening discussions: How long should the student’s essays be?

[Luschen]

Hi Trangpg, I thought you did a very good job with this one - probably one of your best so far. You summarized and explained the data very clearly, with only a few minor errors here and there. Overall, I would rate this a band 7.

@Trangpg

Hi Luschen, could you rate my newest IELTS essay Task 1?
Thank you very much, Luschen.

A glance at the two bar charts provided reveals some information about the proportion of students who attend secondary schools, colleges and universities in 4 different regions of the world.

As can be seen from the graph, people in European countries are far more likely to be educated than [those of] {it was ok, but this seems better} any other countries. It is also apparent that the rates of secondary education among female[s ] in all regions except East Asia are higher than those of their male counterpart[s ]. Meanwhile, the higher education saw the opposite trend.

It is estimated that [virtually] all girls in European countries receive secondary education while this figure among European boys is 10% lower. Sub-Saharan Africa experiences the same pattern as Europe,{I would say “a similar pattern”, as the numbers are much lower, though are the same relative to each other] in which the figures recorded for girls and boys are 20 and 10 percent respectively. However, this region ranks the lowest position {or “holds the lowest position”} in terms of the current rate of secondary education. Latin America and East Asia have moderate levels of secondary education, about 40 and[to] 50 percent for both genders.

When it comes to the percentages of people who receive higher schooling, the figures all over the world are much lower. It is noticeable that higher education is still {“still” implies that the number is going down, which I don’t think is the case - I think you meant “that even higher education is common…”} common in Europe, with about 50 and 40 percent for female[s ] and male[s ] respectively. In other regions, the rates among male[s ] are higher than those of the opposite sex. 25 percent [of] men and 20 percent [of]women in Sub-Saharan Africa attend colleges. The figures for Latin America and East Asia are marginally higher.

TOEFL listening discussions: How long should the student’s essays be?