Fore success in a future job,abilities to related well to people or studying hard

Nowadays people are faced with new challenges and problems in their jobs that they are not written in any books. I think that this is personal communication abilities and experiences that lead to make a person successful in a job. I always believe that personal achievements of how behave well with people are more important than science and knowledge can be attained in schools and universities by each person. I strongly agree that having communication abilities is more important factor than study hard because it is very possible that some unpredictable events happen during each job. In addition, people’s capacities to relate well to people are very different.

First of all, Statistics have shown that about 80% of successful people in the each job have enough experiences and are skilful enough to face new problems and solve them. There is no relationship between a person’s scientific grade and her/his job position in the future. For example, imagine you are a student in a psychology school and you are honor but you have not enough abilities to be in touch with patients and you cannot comprehend them. What will happen? There is no doubt that you cannot get a vocation in the future and if you can get a job somehow it is highly possible that you will fail because you cannot keep patients content.

Last but not least, this is undeniable fact that capacity of each person to contact with variety of people vary from person to person. The people who are educated for getting a job or position in the future, should are assessed their abilities of behavior with customers they will face in their job milieu. If engaged people to a job do not have enough skills to behave well to people, their job will be boring for themselves. For example you work in a bank and you are educated to be an accountant. You face a lot of different people during a day and if you are not expert enough to behave well with your patrons or cannot manage their petitions, it is feasible that you lose your vocation regardless to your educational top grades.

In a word, I really agree with my father’s statement that the personal abilities in getting touch with others are more important than knowledge are attained from books. Unexpected events and contact with different people are two key issues that cannot access from scientific environment. In silkworm’s eyes the world is his cocoon but he don’t know the real world is an anger bird that is waiting to hunt him. This is unwritten rule in world.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why is the student talking to the advisor?

I really remember correcting this already, but I can’t find the post - hmm
I think your writing is not too bad, but parts of this essay were quite confusing to me. Your structure was pretty good, but some of your examples, especially in your second body paragraph, were a bit confusing to me. You also have some grammatical errors and some incorrect sentence structures. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.