Expecting some "feedback" from others, it would be in vain ?

Few days ago, I was so upset with my servant due to her careless treatment in washing my silk dress. She mistreated it so that it became awful. She was stubborn and ignored my guidance. Though I care of her too much and treat her so well. I never consider her as someone which has lower level than me. I just feel that she did unfair with me. From the beginning I have been suspicious, she was not honest and I found her stealing something and hide it in her pocket. That time I forgave her. And for her fault lately, it seems so hard I can forgive her and it can not be tolerable, because I knew that she destroyed my dress deliberately. I have guided her how to wash my silk dress, she ignored that. I might expect too much from others to give me some “feedback” as like the good deed that I did to them? What should I do now, send her out from my home or just give her one more chance? Seeking another servant is not easy these days. Any suggestions are really welcome. Thank you.

To be perfectly honest, Pipiii, I’m not sure what you are trying to say or what you are asking the members of this forum to suggest, sorry.

Beeeneees: I have revised my post. Actually I get a dilemma, I really want to send her out from my home, but in fact it’s not easy to seek another one to replace her.

I am not going to comment on your domestic affairs. I don’t think anyone on this forum knows your situation - or hers - well enough to do that.

Well Bees - I suppose this isn’t the place but I don’t think you need to know the people intimately in what is essentially an employer/employee situation.

Pipii if you are 100% sure the person has stolen from you then your trust in the relationship is gone. For this reason alone the management decision is to let the person go. It is clearly compromising your thinking regarding the dress (whatever happened) and there will be others were your lack of trust will only be a hindrance - As an employer you have displayed weakness in tolerating theft.Also your employee may be more interested in exploiting what ever opportunity comes along than keeping the job. I would terminate the arrangement before something more serious happens.

I would guess you already know this but are just wanting confirmation.

If I were you , I would have fired her right away. Same thing happened couple of years back and my parents fired the maid because of her wrong acts and laziness. You have done your part of being tolerant and nice but I don’t think she deserves another chance. So I’d say get rid of her before she causes you more trouble.

@Beeesneees: Thank you…
@Political Lurker and Katty: I got the point. You suggested me to fire her away. Actually, I do agree with you all, there’s no more trust and no need to give her another chance. I just have to seek another one to replace her, it’s rather difficult but it’s not impossible. Many thanks for your great advice.

Pipiii: It seems your topic like a small talk, because you talked about your domestic affairs. I never mind about it. We can not demean or underestimate all happens around us, even it is just a little thing. Sometimes I feel so upset too, whenever I have done good to anyone else, unfortunately I did not accept some “feedback”. Even it’s too hard for some of them to express any gratitude for what I have done. Nowadays, people tend to be ignorant and they have no positive attitude.

Nothing wrong with SMALL TALK I guess. It will be an interesting discussion in case we can develop it into debatable issue. I agree with you on the point, people tend to behave that way.

I bel;ieve you should be fully informed with the facts and conversant with the situation from all points of view - including that of the other person involved.

Well Bees - the way I look at the problem is this.

Fundamentally the relationship is a commercial one so we are not talking about a blood relative etc. Therefore to me there can be no “emotional blackmail” in the decision making process.

Its possible the servant/employee has problems etc but regardless of what those problems may be - they should not impact upon the employer. The fact that the employee has stolen from her employer trumps any other considerations there may be. Can you think of any scenario in which the servant stealing would be ok?

Even a real tear jerker of a story wouldn’t change or excuse the theft.
I certainly can’t think of a reason to excuse theft by an employee and even if there was(which there isn’t) because the working relationship has been irreparably damaged - to me the only logical outcome is obvious.

How do you know the employee stole?
How do you know they mucked up the dress or the circumstances surrounding it?
How do you know how fairly the employee has been treated?
How do you know whether or not the relationship between the two parties was already strained or not?

Firstly I am taking Pipii at her word - like anyone else on the forum.
Pipii says she caught her so I accept that.
Once we agree the employee has stole from Pipii the story about the dress is irrelevant, as is any strained feelings before the event.

Theft in the workplace has to be automatic dismissal.
Theft from your employer is also quite a serious criminal offence, as it is deemed by the courts as “biting the hand thats feeding you” and is often dealt with severely.
sglinks.com/pages/724184-maid-st … -underwear
Are you sure you’re not getting mixed up with a pupil at school or some other slightly more tolerant situation.

Political Lurker: Can you please elaborate further with “emotional blackmail”? Is it related to “unfair decision?”

That might be an error of judgement on your part for all you know, which is why I said in my earlier post that no-one knows the situation with enough certainty. The employee is not here to defend herself.

Who is ‘we’?
How do you know that the employee has stolen from Pipii?

May be Political Lurker was true that the story about my dress was not relevant, because previously the employee has stolen thing from me. As Political Lurker told before that I have displayed weakness towards the bad deeds. It was actually my fault for being tolerant and let her to keep working at my home after stealing. She did not deny that she has stolen from me, but she promised not to repeat it. To my mind by giving another chance, I thought that time she could change into the better, but I was absolutely wrong in this case. I got backfire finally. I mean, she mistreated my dress, it indicates that she did not have any intention to work well. She deliberately did it for showing that she could not be guided even by her own “master”.

The default position of any forum has to be that you assume the person posting a topic is telling the truth.

This is a relatively simple management “Problem” and has absolutely nothing to do with learning English or teaching.The difference between School and commerce is like night and day.
Any attempts to make it appear somehow complex/ambiguous(Including implying Pipii may be lying)are pointless and irrelevant.

That rather depends on the topic and the forum. You don’t know Pipii. You don’t know what her motives are. You don’t know her home situation. Therefore, whether you like it or not, you cannot know whether she is:
-telling the truth accurately
-telling what she thinks is the truth, but actually she hasn’t judged the situation well
-being influenced by other factors and dealings with her employee
-deliberately fabricating the story
-playing devil’s advocate in order to stimulate discussion on a hypothetical situation
-an 18-stone builder’s labourer whose real name is Frank and who is just out for a bit of fun

This isn’t a personal slur on Pipii. It’s just hard fact.

If you consider the arbitrary dismissal of someone without access to all the proof and facts to be ‘relatively simple’ then I’m glad you aren’t my manager. You don’t have full and frank disclosure of the problem. You cannot sit in judgement.
No manager worth their salt would consider making a decision without having heard both sides of the story. At this point, it is not theft - it is implied theft.

No they aren’t. If this is a real situation rather than a hypothetical one then we are speaking about a person’s livelihood here, so all sides of the coin are extremely relevant. You only have one side of it.

Pipii has already clearly stated in another thread that one of her aims when posting some new topics is to stimulate controversy and discussion. Perhaps that is all she has done here.

Well it kind of explains why you’re not making much sense Bees - You really seem to be implying Pipii is a liar. But again this is irrelevant as I can only call the cards as they are shown.
If Pipii(as the employer) says the servant has stolen from her - then there can only be one conclusion.
This thread should be based upon the original post - not on your Bias against Pipii for whatever reason
The answer to this problem is painfully obvious - and we’re unable to reconvene the UN security council for such matters.

Your glad Im not your manager?

Pipii is the “Employer” there are no “managers” or “under managers” if there was the situation might be different. But as theres no one else involved then there is nothing and no one to stop the servant being sacked.
One can pontificate all day about morals and workers rights etc but the situation requires direct action and a management decision.

The Employee can sue for unfair dismissal if she has sufficient grounds to do so.

But that doesn’t stop her getting fired.

The discussion between Beesnees and Pl seems to become very “high standard” brainstorming. Whatever they said, one thing I have to clarify here is I have never been a liar, what I told here based on the fact – though it was from my own side…It is impossible to enjoin my employee to be here, I have fired her away :):slight_smile: I like posting some topics on the forum to stimulate discussion to be more alive, it does not mean I did not tell the truth…It would be in vain in case for the sake of stimulating discussion, I must be a liar.