Would you mind helping me correct the essay about the topic below? Thank you very much.
Topic: People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
We all used to be a child and it is quite natural that we grow up and become an adult. People recognize a difference between children and adults. There is variety of events make a person an adult. Here are the three events I find important.
First of all, the event that makes a person an adult is a college or university graduation. The reason I think so important is that this means the beginning of a new life with more challenges. Thereby, we can have some new life experiences and face many challenges. For example, we have to live far from our parents, rent a room by ourselves and handle all the problems in our lives. All of this takes us one step further into adulthood.
In the second place, the event that makes a person an adult is going to work. This helps us to chase our dreams and gives us a chance to make money. In particular, we become more independent. Thereby, we can learn to save money more and on the other hand how to spend money properly by buying the most important things that we need. For example, in the past it was easy for us to choose items we just looked at, sometimes simply because they are beautiful. But when we go to work, we will become more aware of money and have a new perspective on consumption.
Thirdly and the most importantly, the event that makes a person an adult is a marriage. This responsibility is really enormous, it definitely turns a child into an adult, everyone who goes through will understand. One person commits to a companion to take care of their home together, share private spaces with each other and so on. These are all important decisions that only adults can make. Together they plan the family, the home, the upbringing of their children, an adult capable of taking on all of these responsibilities. This is a milestone of true maturity.
To sum up, there are many events in our life that help us become an adult. It can be a college or university graduation, going to work and also importantly a marriage.