Essay Task 2: Crime

Hi leaders, please help me check this essay. Thank you so much
Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison.

Do you agree or disagree?

According to several studies, the rate of crimes have been increasing since the majority of criminals seem to be lack of education. While many assume that the introduction of educational programs is the best method to reduce the conviction rate, I disagree with this view because there are many long-term approaches for curtailing the proportion of offenders.

To begin with, I understand why providing educational and vocational trainings to criminals who are serving a prison sentence would give them an opportunities to reintegrate into community. By attending there rehabilitation programs, they can gain essential knowledge as well as skills, which help them find a job easily to embark on a new life after releasing from prison, and make them feel that they are still appreciated by the public. Therefore, this could eliminate the risk of reoffending. However, this method is only beneficial for those who are imposed a sentence, but for those who never have offended before.

However, there are many other effective measures can curtail the conviction rate permanently. Perhaps, it would be better if criminals are handed down more severe punishments such as serving longer imprisonment since forcing lawbreakers to participate in educational trainings is not strict enough to prevent criminal’s acts. Another method that may have long-lasting impacts on the reduction of crime is to introduce educational crime and punishments for each criminal at school. This will equip students with necessary knowledge about crime and crime prevention.

In conclusion, although providing educational programs for people in prison bring certain benefit to decrease crime, it seems to me that performing heavy punishments and give crime knowledge would be the permanent way to minimize the rate of criminal conviction.

2 Likes

HI Nancy, I thought the format of this essay was an excellent choice for this type of prompt. This is really what essay writers should shoot for in a simple agree/disagree type prompt. Show the disadvantages of the bad option in paragraph 1 and the advantages of the good option - the one you support - in paragraph 2. You have some good ideas too, but you needed a few more phrases to make sure you were always referring back to the specific situation in the prompt and to make it clear your choice is the best and the other viewpoint is not. Your writing was quite clear, although you did have a few errors here and there:

2 Likes