Essay: Education

[thaodang119]

Hi leaders, please give me advice of this essay. Thank you in advance.

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom.**

Discuss both views and give your own opinion

People have different views whether allowing students to evaluate or making criticisms on their teachers in order to raise the quality of education. While many assume that this two-way communication can show the disrespect and indiscipline in the class, I would argue that this approach could make enhancements in the quality of teaching and studying.

On the one hand, the preference for giving students permission to access their students seen as lack of respect and discipline can be explained with following reasons. Firstly, virtually all teachers tend to feel sensitive with their student’s criticisms. In fact, due to the immaturity, impulsiveness, and inexperience, students have a tendency to give negative words to those whom they dislike or disrespect, and this might result in controversial issues between teachers and students. Secondly, the class may be in chaos owing to the massive diverse number of comments since opinions will vary from person to person, hence, it is unfeasible for teachers to satisfy all student’s expectations.

On the other hand, I believe that giving students the freedom in expressing their thoughts and feeling to their teachers have positive impacts not only on students but also their teachers. Regarding to students, since each student has various level of comprehension, by means of learner’s responds, teachers can adjust their teaching methods so that students are able to retain fully the knowledge. Consequently, the academic results would be improved considerably. From the teacher perspective, this approach may significantly contribute to enrich teacher’s pedagogical skills. By basing on student’s comments, teachers can understand how to impart information simply and understandably to ensure their students to absorb the knowledge completely.

In conclusion, despite the possibility of disrespectful attitude among students, I trust that teachers and students can accrue considerable benefits from permitting students to judge their teachers.

[Luschen]

Hi Nancy, another good essay, though I still think dividing your opinion out from your analysis of the two viewpoints is a better way of addressing this type of prompt. Still, you have described the two different sides and your ideas are relevant to the topic. You did have that one really unclear sentence beginning your first body paragraph. Maybe you could try rewriting it so I could understand what you were trying to say. Here are some additional comments:

@thaodang119

People have different views [in regard to ] whether {whether really requires two choices - you could also have added “or not” at the end to provide an alternative choice, but this sounds better} allowing students to evaluate or [make] criticisms [of] their teachers in order to raise the quality of education. While many assume that this two-way communication can show the disrespect and indiscipline {“lack of discipline” seems more natural to me} in the class, I would [agree with those who] {this little change better shows that there are two alternate viewpoints that people hold and that you agree with one of them} argue that this approach could make enhancements in the quality of teaching and studying.

On the one hand, the preference for giving students permission to access their students seen as lack of respect and discipline {this is very unclear and confusing - I guess you meant “access their teachers”, but that still is not very clear} can be explained with [the] following reasons. Firstly, virtually all teachers tend to feel sensitive [about] their [students’] criticisms. In fact, due to [their] immaturity, impulsiveness, and inexperience, students have a tendency to give negative words to those whom they dislike or disrespect, and this might result in controversial issues between teachers and students. {before you said it would hurt the teachers’ feelings, but now you say it would “result in controversial issues” - try to be more clear with this clarification! } Secondly, the class may be in chaos owing to the massive [and] diverse number of comments[,] since opinions will vary from person to person[. Hence,] {this transition is not the best - hence should proceed a result. So here you are saying it is unfeasible for teachers to satisfy their students (result) because the class my be in chaos (cause). I think instead you need to explain why the class would be in chaos} it is unfeasible for teachers to satisfy all student’s expectations.

On the other hand, I [side with those who] {this is better because it shows that this paragraph deals both with one side of the argument as well as with your particular belief. Still, I think it is better to entirely separate these two answers to different parts of the prompt by making this paragraph be an objective description of one side and an additional paragraph giving your opinion} believe that giving students the freedom [to express] their thoughts and feeling to their teachers [has] {“giving” is the singular subject associated with this verb - giving has impacts} positive impacts not only on students but also their teachers. Regarding to students, since each student has various {it would be “all the students have various levels” or “each student has a different level”} level of comprehension, by means of [each] learner’s [response,] teachers can adjust their teaching methods so that students are able to retain fully [retain] the knowledge. Consequently, the academic results would be improved considerably. From the [teacher’s] perspective, this approach may significantly contribute to [enriching a] teacher’s pedagogical skills. By [relying] {or "Based on students’ …} on [students’] comments, teachers can understand how to impart information simply and understandably to ensure their students to absorb the knowledge completely.

In conclusion, despite the possibility of disrespectful [attitudes] among students, I trust that teachers and students can accrue considerable benefits from permitting students to judge their teachers.