Do you agree or disagree with the following sentence? Parents offer money to their children in order to get high grade in lessons

To get high mark in school needs effort and hard working. To ease this process, rewards and gifts can create a pleasant influence on children and encourage them to get more higher marks. It should be considered, which kind of present they acquire because effects of prizes will be evolved up In the long-term. parents, therefore, had better carefully choose an appropriate gift. I believe that money has some advantages on children during a long period of time. I will explore my reasons in detail in the following essay.
First of all, money gives you an ability to feel more confidence due to make a purchase autonomously. This feel encourages students to try more efforts to experience self-reliance. When parents give their offspring fee, children would pay that money in whatever they are interested in. Books, some mental-challenging games, cloths for different occasions and so forth. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. After each semester, if I got high mark in my lessons, my father would pay me money to use it in my personal way. As a child that always had my family’s support, this gift made me feel self-sufficient; then, it pushed me to try harder in order to get fee.
Secondly, managing and organizing money is a significant skill that every individual has to learn it. The best time for this practice is childhood. Parents by regularly offering their children money teaches them how to spend their money to be well-performed financially adults. To clarify, people in adulthood confront with lots of problems which most of them are associated to financial affairs. Consequently, they need to obtain the skill of properly administering their currency. If they had not taught to manageably spend their money, they would have adversely devastated their plans and even future. Therefore, childhood is a suitable time to train kids to learn how to spend their money. This fee can be given them as a gift because of a good mark. In fact, you kill two birds by one stone. You stimulate them to do their best in school and teach them to handle their finance.
To sum up, I strongly feel that offering money to children in order of a high grade would be a spectacular idea. This is because parent plant the seed of hard working by this motivation, and children learn to effectively spend their currency, which would be helpful for their future life.

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Hi zahra1993

I would start the text as follows: Getting high marks in school takes effort and hard working.

I hope this helps.

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I agree, Marc and would like to would like to add that getting high marks in/at school is a thing of the past. Here is why

https://english.best/toeic/exercise/new-educational-trends/

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Hi Torsten,

I read the entire text. I’m really astounded! I didn’t have the ‘privilege’ of living in a digital era when I was studying and I wonder, do computers, tablets, smartphones, etc. make life easier for students? I don’t think so. As a matter of fact, I think they can be quite stressful. It also seems to me that students and other people as well have to be available twenty-four hours a day. I mean look at facebook and messenger. The more friends you have the more often you get calls, emails, text messages etc. Perhaps even phone calls in the middle of the night are not excluded. I have an account on facebook, but I use it very seldom and don’t use it on my smartphone to avoid that sort of thing. I really think it’s a shame that traditional education is going down. People should find a way that both traditional education and new technologies can coexist. But how? I’m not a genius. What do you think?

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Torsten, I’ve finally completed my text. Do you think you’re a genius?

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I think everyone of us is a little genius of their own :wink:

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Now I know why I like you. :slightly_smiling_face:

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thank you for your attention. yes, it is better sentence than mine.

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Please note that your sentence should either read:

Yes, it is a better sentence than mine.

Or:

Yes, your sentence is better than mine.

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