Discussion essay: Student should pay full fee for college?

This is one of my writing homework at school and I would like to hear you guys’ opinion about it. This topic is quite interesting so I did spend a lot of time for it. Hope you will enjoy it :stuck_out_tongue:

As tertiary education brings more benefits to learners than the society, it is believed that students should pay full fee. Discuss the statement
As the modern world is increasingly developing and people are paying more attention for higher education, there is no doubt that the problem as to who is responsible for paying full fee has been in dispute for years. It is believed by some people that the government should subsidize fully. This view point, however, is refuted by others who think that it is students who should pay full fee for their further education. These two points of view should be analyzed with thoughts in this order.
It is believed to be a social responsibility of government to provide tertiary education to all. Obviously, further education provides for the general welfare of our society. It can be admitted that on average, college graduates get better jobs and earn more money than those who do not go to college, which also means they have to pay more taxes to local government. Many individuals devote themselves to changing the world by creating a lot of jobs, doing charity, discovering new medicine, inventing new products, etc. We now all count on continuous learners to lead our social and economic development. In addition, all of us benefit enormously from living in a society where skilled, knowledgeable and public-spirited individuals give their time and talent for the public’s sake. So in these dimensions, public value of college-educated populace may outweigh the personal value. Thus, it is understandable why many gravitate towards this point of view.
However, there is also a strong argument that individuals benefit so much from their further education that they should pay it themselves. Taking wealthy families as an example, it is a fact that they proportionally benefit more from the policy that government should be responsible for the entire fee. Rich families are much better in evading tax so it is unfair that the poor pay taxes for well-off students to get their professional diplomas. Besides, individuals do benefit personally a lot from having learned and developed the skills of participation as a part of their college educations. It is evident that individuals work for their own benefit first then college fee should be their responsibility. Moreover, free education cannot motivate students to study and work their best. Hence, it is reasonable why many express approval for this point of view.
To those who cannot afford full fee, they can be supported by the government with scholarships and grants. Otherwise, student loan can help them cover all the costs and then they will repay it later
In conclusion, it is probably impossible to decide whether the individuals or the society benefits more from higher education. After the above analyzation, the cost of tertiary education should be balanced between the individuals and the state because education drives our progress towards a better life - personally and collectively.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of American History

Hi, I think your writing is very good and your essay was quite interesting. I think you adequately addressed the question and your arguments were very solid. Please see my other comments below.

Thank you for your comments, Luschen. They are very useful for me. By the way, I want to ask you a question. I was very surprised when you struck the word analyzation through because I saw my teacher use that word. Then I looked up Oxford dictionary and it turned out that there was no word analyzation. So I am really confused now

Well, there used to be a word “analyzation”, but it has been almost completely replaced by analysis. Looking on the internet, I think some scientists might still use analyzation to mean breaking down a substance to its basic parts, like in a centrifuge. Remember, teachers make mistakes too! :wink:

Thank you Luschen for helping me improve my writing. Although I am very meticulous and I always tell myself that " OK, no careless mistakes this time" and somehow I still make them :-ss . When I review your comments, I realize that I still have problems with preposition and article. So I want to ask you that how to know when we should use the definite article or not

I think the use of articles is one of the toughest grammar issues for English learners, especially for those whose native language does not use them. A lot of it just comes through experience, although this webpage has some good information: owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/

Thanks a lot, Luschen. That webpage is very useful for me. Can I ask you one more question :P? Do you think this essay is unnecessarily long, wordy and unnatural?

Hi, I don’t think it was unnecessarily long or wordy. Your points were clear and concise and if it is long, that is just because you have included a lot of information and examples, which is a good thing. Generally, it sounded pretty natural, although your occasional grammar mistakes do make those sentences sound a bit awkward.

Thank you for letting me know that :slight_smile: