Could you review my essay and give me a piece of advice about it?(independent essay)

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Answer:
In contemporary society, it has become an issue of whether advertisements make products seem more appealing or not. People’s opinions vary from person to person. Some claim that we will assume that products are better than they are if they are advertised. Others hold the opposite viewpoint. In my opinion, I would prefer that advertisements mislead us into believing that the products are better than they are for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, advertisements always show the best sides of the product, it is difficult for us to find its flaws unless we use it. It reminds me of an example that matches my idea to the fullest extent. I bought a dishwasher which is the most expensive one in the store. I bought it because the advertisement claimed that it could remove all the dirt from dishes and it also could save time because we didn’t need to spend time washing dishes. It turned out that the advertisement was right, nonetheless, it wasted lots of water and electricity, I saved my time but lost money to pay the water bill and electricity bill.

Additionally, advertisements may persuade us to think that we need a useless product. To illustrate my point, the experience of buying an electronic toothbrush can be cited as an example. I bought the electronic toothbrush because an advertisement said that all of us should have an electronic toothbrush because it can clean out all the dirty things in our teeth, even something that is stuck in our teeth. However, after I used it, it didn’t perform as perfectly as the advertisement said. What’s worse is that a traditional toothbrush outperforms it. That is to say that I didn’t need an electronic one, I just needed a traditional one.

In conclusion, I believe that advertisements convince us that products are better than they are. This is because advertisements always show the best sides of the product and because advertisements make us think that we need the product.

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Hi 1112, welcome to our forum and many thanks for your sharing your essay. Have you thought about teaming up with other TOEFL candidates? For example, why not read the following essay and share your view on it? Could you review my essay and give me a piece of advice about it?( 40 independent TOEFL essay)

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