Could you please correct my essay?Thank you

Face to face communication vs. email or phone calls
It is obvious that people are known as social animals.That is, every body needs to interact with others in order to solve the necessity of making communication.Thanks to advance in technology,there are a number of methods that facilitate the communication.Phone,email,and other kinds of program such as Skype are such examples.However,many believe that face to face communication is the most effective one,as I do.
To begin with,face to face communication enables people to utilize from body language.For example,according to the results of a research has recently conducted, more than 80 percent of concept in each conversation conveys by body language. In addition to the importance of body language,an individual can convey his or her emotion via face to face communication.That is people in face to face communication have more sense of empahty.
In contrast, several people think that they should be up to date and bring technology in their lives and especially in their communication.They argue that they can be in touch with their families and their friends more often by just easily using of email or phone.Nevertheless, they should make to account that these kinds of communication are not efficient and effective.In other words, there is no emotion in conversation through email.
In conclution,people should pay more attention that it is not the only important issue that how much we can communicate to gether.By saying that I mean one should take into consideration that the quality of speak plays a significant role in an effective communication and there is no way to gain this but face to face communication.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class (2)

Hi, I enjoyed your essay. Your structure is clear and your introduciton was pretty good, although your thesis could be improved. Your body paragraphs were well organized and convincing. I like how you brought in the contrary view, but you should disprove it a bit more forcefully. You do have quite a few awkward or unclear sentences, although your grammar overall is not too bad. I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Hi Luschen, Thank you. Actually I have thought about rewriting" people should pay more attention that it is not the only important issue that how much we can communicate together", but I could not. I wanted to say that quantity is less important than quality.