could you please correct my essay(more salary for professorand education quality)

Topic: to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professor.
My essay:

Some people may think increasing the salary of the university professor can be result in higher qualification. in education. Actually, I believe that it is not a practical measure which should be taken in order to improve the quality of education. I have a couple of reasons which are listed as follows.

Although allocating enough and suitable salary to professors is rational and necessary conduct which should be done, there are large number of various useful measures can be taken in turn to improve the quality of the education. In fact, more money should be spent on improving the facilities of the university. For example, more green environment can be built, having a place to release tension and to have fun, so students have more energy to concentrate and put in time and effort for their studying. This will boost their level of success and knowledge they can gain in the university. In addition, building more libraries in the universities and also improve the equipment of them can establish better place for student to study for their final exam or work on their assignment during the term; this will lead to better result in education qualification.

Another reason I hold this opinion is that I think there should be an instinct interest in professor to teach students as well as they can, they should be stilled to be caring towards their students and to be responsible about any needs and problems students have in their studying. If a professor does not have responsibility feeling toward their students more money cannot work well ,and is not the wise solution for it. I have a example for this issue; one of university professor dose not teach us well;  as if he is not interested in teaching, ; although his salary has been raised recently, any improvement about the methods of his teaching not been established and thus students still have a lot of problems with their lessons which have class about with this professor.


In a word, by taking into account all I mentioned above, we may draw conclusion spending more money for the salaries of university professor cannot be rational decision to improve the quality of education.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings?

Hi Ariana, I thought you did a good job with this essay. Your content is good and I like your detailed examples. Your overall format is fine and most of your writing is clear. You do have quite a few small errors in articles and singular/plural consistency. You also have several phrases that sound awkward and sometimes confusing, but still I think the rest of your writing is good enough to score a 4 out of 5.