could any one grade my first issue?

here is my first issue. it takes me plenty of time to finish it, i need some help to give me some advice of my issue.

Topic:’'all nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world’s most persisent social problem."

here is my article:

I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s recommendation that establishing a global university will spawn great advance in solving the world’s immediate social problems. However, are all nations ready to cooperate together to build such a global university now? I believe that it will be a long time before we break the boundaries between all nations to work together.
I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of the issue. Addressing social immediate problems – involving poverty, war, and violence – requires worldwide cooperation. It is necessary for all nations to establish certain special institution for mitigating these enduring problems. One apt illustration of this point involves the establishment of UN, which was found after Second World War to ensure the peace of our world. As it turns out, nearly seventy year passed, the so-called “Third World War” did not occur, and it appears do not happen in the foreseeable future as well. Similarly, the WBG which also established in 1945 aimed at helping the country destroyed during the world is a good example for this point. Not only does this institution stimulate the economic growth of European country, it also serves to improve the quality of lives in developing country – such as the country in Africa. After all, history informs us that a worldwide institution always holds more promise of mitigating our world problems than squandering tax-payers money.
On the other hand, however, there are some problems against establishing such a university now. The first has to do with cooperative possibility. Where will the university be placed, what benefits could I get if it isn’t built in my country creating jobs, stimulating economic growth, and helping my constituency, one politic leader of a country would no doubt question; after all, we human appear tend to pay more attention to immediate benefits than unpredictable results carried by the long-term investment of building a global university. In short, it is hard for every nation to pay for the development of the university. The second is an appeal to logic investment over speculative investment. It is a scientific fact that millions of people died in poverty and violence every year. Although a global university might ultimately enable us to find a lasting solution of this problem, it is up to our immediate investment and efforts to save these people who cannot survive to wait a solution brought by the university. In Africa, billions of dollars are needed to prevent the epidemic of AIDS, to supply food to the poor for their survival. Diminishing certain investment in these areas, we risk leading to aggravating the poverty that might ultimately lead to millions of death. People who defend the speaker’s contention would claim that only investing in mitigating immediate problems will never let us find a solution to these problems. Although I concede this point, the plain fact is that both politicians in developed country and leaders in the poor country would not risk their careers to do such a speculative investment.
In sum, I agree with the speaker’s recommendation that all the country should cooperate together to build a worldwide university to solve the enduring problems of the world. However, we may be not ready to found such a university now, for the politic concerns and immediate problems that also require investment. In final analysis, given final economic budget, it is hard for all nations to help support the development of such a university. I believe that it is still a long way for us to break boundaries and share our finite resource working together for enduring solution of our social problems.