Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?

[Paul_Mangubat]

Can someone please evaluate my essay please. i’m practicing writing task 2 of ielts.

“Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?”

Nowadays, company uses diverse tools to effectively reach their prospect customers. Ways such as hiring a brand ambassador and doing online campaign are the most effective approach in this modern world. In this essay, I will explain why these methods are top on the line.

Firstly, having a person that will represent the product is one of the most common approach. With this, the company will choose a couple of influential personnel to represent the company service. Example, Vic Sotto which is a well known Filipino celebrity in the Philippines was hired to be the product ambassador of The Pines Condo in Tagaytay City. As per the companies room availability statistics the consumers tend to have a peace of mind and trust with the company after knowing that a well-respected personality recommends the real estate developer project.

Secondly, modern technology methods such as paid advertising is the current most used trend in this generation. People nowadays are smart to research the product’s credibility first before purchasing or subscribing into it. Companies tend to use paid advertising on Facebook to gather more prospect with the product. From this, people will have a page to read or even post their experience as customer reviews, this also enables the company to interact directly with the customer through real-time customer support. For example, Baby Brine Shrimp Philippines company was getting a hard time before gathering customers to prove its quality artemia products, not until they created a Facebook page. The customers can now ask technical aspects on how to hatch artemia which will be answered in real time by the customer support. Right now the institution had a lot of positive reviews and is well known for its keen after sales support.

To conclude, company strategic plan is now innovating to capture clients interest to improve sales. With this, I strongly believe that representing a role model for a product service and doing online campaign are the best method this age can provide.

[Luschen]

Hi Paul, you have some great ideas and I really liked your specific and detailed examples. Unfortunatlly, I don’t think you have addressed this prompt quite right.
This is a two part prompt. In the first part, your first body paragraph, you should discuss “what are those methods” - so give the methods - I would probably pick three. Then in your second body paragraph, that is where you should state which one is most effective and why. Instead, your whole essay is about why these two methods are the most effective, but the prompt asks you to choose only one. Besides this, some of your essay sounds very well polished, but then you have other setnences that are really confusing or sound very odd.
Sometimes it is a matter of just changing or adding a few words, like I have shown in your conclusion. Here are some other suggestions:

@Paul_Mangubat

Nowadays, [companies use] diverse tools to effectively reach their [prospective] customers. Ways such as hiring a brand ambassador and doing online [campaigns] are the most effective [approaches] in this modern world. In this essay, I will explain why these methods are top [of] the line. {“top of the line” might be too informal - it sounds like a description for an automobile or a watch}

Firstly, having a person that will represent the product is one of the most common [approaches]. With this, the company will choose a couple of influential personnel to represent the [company’s products or services] . [For example], Vic Sotto[, who] is a well known Filipino celebrity in the Philippines {this seems a little redundant - “Filipino celebrity” is probably adequate} was hired to be the product ambassador of The Pines Condo in Tagaytay City. As per [indicated by] the [company’s] room [occupancy] availability statistics[,] {although this would be more for a hotel - I think you mean “… by the company’s sales statistics for the condo complex, the …”} the consumers tend to have a [greater] peace of mind and [increased] trust with the company after knowing that a well-respected personality recommends the real estate development] project.

Secondly, modern technology methods such as paid advertising {I am not sure why advertising would be considered a modern technology method - make the connection more clear} is the current most used trend {“most used trend” is incorrect - you don’t really “use a trend” - maybe there is a trend of increasing use of advertising} in this generation. People nowadays are smart to research the product’s credibility first before purchasing or subscribing [to] it. [For instance] Companies tend to use paid advertising on [websites like] Facebook {not explaining that this is just one specific example makes it sound like paid advertising = advertising on Facebook} to gather more [prospective customers [for] with [their] product. From this, people will have a page to read [about the item] or even post their experience as customer reviews[. This] also enables the company to interact directly with the customer through real-time customer support. For example, Baby Brine Shrimp[, ]a Philippines company[,] was [having] a hard time before gathering customers to prove [the] quality [of its] artemia {most readers will not know what artemia means} products, not until {don’t use both “before” and “until” together in this sentence} they created a Facebook page. The customers can now ask [questions about] technical aspects on how to hatch artemia[,] which will be answered in real time by the [company’s] customer support. Right now the institution [has] had a lot of positive reviews and is well known for its keen after sales support.

To conclude, company strategic plan is now innovating to capture clients interest to improve sales. With this, I strongly believe that representing a role model for a product service and doing online campaign are the best method this age can provide. {this whole conclusion is pretty awkward and unclear - maybe “To conclude, a company’s strategic plan must now involve innovative ways to capture clients’ interest in order to improve sales. With this in mind, I strongly believe that using celebrities as role models for a product or service and doing online campaigns are the best methods in this age of advertising saturation.”

[Joebet_Lacierda_Muti]

thank you so much for your time and effort. learned a lot with your comments Lushcen

[Paul_Mangubat]

Thank you sir Luschen

[Luschen]

You are welcome Paul, or I can say Mr. Mangubat! Just to let you know, “Sir Luschen” is only appropriate if I have been knighted by the Queen of England. As I have unfortunately not (yet) received this honor, “Thank you, Luschen”, or “Thank you, sir” or “Thank you, Mr. Luschen” to be more formal, are better options