Children spend a great amout of time playing sport.

SOME CHILDREN SPEND A LOT OF TIME PLAYING SPORT. DISCUSS ITS ADVANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGE.

Childhood is the period of body’s development of individuals. For this reason, our body must actively practice by playing sport to enhance the physical and mental powers. But some children spend a great amount of time playing it. So in my opinion, playing sport too much time has its advantage and disadvantage.

Firstly, we can deny the essential function of sport to human’s body. Playing sport helps strengthen muscle, improves height and also removes stress that benefit children do a better work. For example, scientist has proved that children who is trained by sport can complete hard requirements such as finishing math exercise twice as many as children who isn’t. Surprised, aren’t you? Moreover, I will make a contrary to clarify more clearly this statement. One side is a boy who play baseball. You can see a face of satisfaction and optimism of him because he has friends, he has a good appearance with admired height and vigorous energy. But in contrary, let consider a boy that focus only in study and forget the habit of playing sport. Everyday, he goes to school with an emotion of isolation and lassitude because learning schedule that replete with exercises doesn’t allow him to communicate and let a movement of body enable. Obviously, sport is so important in developing the whole part of human’s body.

Secondly, beside the advantage of playing sport, the disadvantage still existence. As the time elapsed to spend for the activity, the less time children learn academic subjects because of the attractiveness of sports. I myself is an example. When I studied 4th grade, football had become my friend that my life was nothing without it. As an usual, everyday, despite having an important exam, I still decided to play football 2 hours per day. It consumed me a lot of time that I had only 1 hour to study. As the result of false decision, I just got a grade of 2- a really really slow grade in math exams because of forgetting completely the integral formula.
Obviously, playing sport is a time- consumer.

In conclusion, as I discuss above, playing sports has its advantage and disadvantage

TOEFL listening lectures: What is the main danger of obesity?

Your sentence structure has improved Kaka, but the content, whist being better, is wrongly structured. The sentences which are well structured are fine, but the context is not. Relax, you are showing great improvement, and you will become even better, providing you continue to read.

Kitos.

Oh do you mean that sentences structure must compatible with situation in content such as a specific example must go with simple,pithy,interesting and a little bit of funny structure but a general statement must go with a serious and complex structure?

Kaka, stop confusing yourself. You are improving, that is for sure. Try to keep your sentences simply worded, then I can edit them for you to enable you to recognise your errors. Don’t be in an hurry to become perfect. It all takes time and lots of READING.