Changing jobs

[P.quanghuy21]

Hi Mr.Luschen,
Can you help me correct my essay and suggest some better word choice if possible? Thank you so much.

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suppose that employees who follow an early-defined career path will have a fulfilling working life. However, I believe that workers can gain more satisfaction from changing their jobs regularly for the following reasons.

To begin with, employees who switch their occupation frequently have more chance to find their well-suited workplace and pick up necessary working skills. Newly graduated students are normally uncertain about their strengths and weaknesses, so changing place of work is an opportunity for them to explore their potentials rather than staying with their first job. In addition, they are able to learn from senior employees in different companies to sharpen their skills and accumulate valuable experience. Another reason is that employees are likely to get a higher income to support their family because numerous firms are willing to pay more to recruit high-skilled workers from their rivals in the market.

Secondly, job hoppers are capable of seeking new motivations in their career. In my opinion, staying in a place for a long time will limit people’s creativity and confine workers to the thought that they are only competent in their familiar job. People therefore should find new inspiration to renew themselves and conduct their work with higher efficiency. Moreover, those who change their workplace frequently are more adaptive to changes in the market than those who choose a stable career path. A number of job hoppers also take pleasure in working with new colleagues to expand their relationships, which may become useful later in their life.

In conclusion, it seems to me that people who switch their occupation regularly are more likely to experience satisfaction than those who follow a stable career.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the design of the sweatshirt?

[Luschen]

Hi Quanghuy, not very many errors in this essay at all. The words you have chosen are all suitable, but I have suggested some vocabulary alternatives that may be a bit more complex or sound more polished.

@P.quanghuy21

Hi Mr.Luschen,
Can you help me correct my essay and suggest some better word choice if possible? Thank you so much.

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suppose that employees who follow an early-defined career path {ok, but maybe “…who follow a fixed path chosen at the commencement of their career” will have a {maybe add “will ensure their attainment of a fulfilling …”} fulfilling working life. However, I believe that workers can gain {“realize” might be more polished here} more satisfaction from changing their jobs regularly for the following reasons.

To begin with, employees who switch their occupation frequently have more chance to find their well-suited workplace {maybe “a workplace ideally suited to their particular inclinations”} and pick up necessary {“essential” might be better} working skills. Newly graduated students {“Recent graduates are” sounds more natural} are normally uncertain about their strengths and weaknesses, so changing [their] place of work is {“provides/furnishes” is better than “is” here} an opportunity for them to explore their potentials rather than staying with {maybe “remaining fixed and stagnating at their …”} their first job. In addition, [by progressing from position to position} they are able to learn from senior employees in [an array of] different companies to sharpen their skills and accumulate valuable experience. Another reason [to remain flexible and willing to move on] is that employees are likely to get a higher income to support their family {ok, but maybe “likely to increase their earning potential, allowing them to better provide for their families …”} because numerous firms are willing to pay more to recruit high-skilled workers from their rivals in the market.

Secondly, job hoppers are [better/more] capable of seeking new motivations in their career. In my opinion, staying {maybe “languishing”} in a {“in one place” is better here} place for a long {maybe “for an extended/interminable period of time”} time will limit {maybe “hinder/cripple”} people’s creativity and confine workers to the thought that they are only competent in their familiar job. People therefore should find {maybe “actively seek/pursue” new inspiration to renew themselves and conduct their work with higher efficiency. Moreover, those who change their workplace frequently are more adaptive to changes in the market than those who choose a stable career path. A number of job hoppers also take pleasure in working with new colleagues to expand their relationships, [building/constructing/assembling an extensive network] which may become useful later in their life.

In conclusion, it seems to me that people who switch their occupation regularly are more likely to experience satisfaction than those who follow a stable career.{maybe “follow/embrace/adopt a more static career”}

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the design of the sweatshirt?

[P.quanghuy21]

Thank you sir. Most of my words are quite simple, but your suggestion is way better