Can someone please rate my essay

[spjparmar]

question:Do you agree or disagree? Keeping old friends is more important than making new friends. Write your essay in examples and details.

Friendship is great. The longer the friendship, the stronger the bond. Though many people forget older friends over the period of time and make new friends due to various reasons, Personally, I agree that old friends are important to keep. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will examine in this essay.

First of all, older friends are helpful during financial crises. Since they have known us for a very long time and believe in our integrity, they are able to assist in an emergency. Evidently, friendship is built on trust more than anything else, and a friend in need is indeed a friend. Consequently, Whenever we ask them for the support, they will not deny directly and help us as far as possible. Thus, old friendships are essential to keep. This is best demonstrated by my personal experience. Two years ago, my cousin had an accident and needed urgent surgery. The hospital asked for huge amounts of money in advance to proceed with the operation. I did not have that much savings at that point in time. Eventually, I called one of my old friends from school to help. Since, we were good friends from childhood, My friend without any hesitation, help me with the financial help in such a critical time. As a result, I could pay in advance for the surgery, and my cousin could get the required treatment. I am sure that if I had not maintained that friendship with my old friend, I would not have gotten the financial help easily.

Second, I believe that, together with old friends, it is easier to perform charity work. In particular, an old friend will be more willing to provide support for the charity since, over a long period of time, you have known them better and are aware of each other’s thought processes and willingness towards common cause. Obviously, no friend would deny the social cause, but an older friend would come first to serve since you have better rapport and know each other’s capabilities better than anyone else. For instance, it was my dream to help the NGO that supports girls’ education in rural areas. Recently, I got to know about such an organization, and I explained its process and the kind of initiatives it takes for the girls’ education to one of my old friends who was very responsible for social causes, and we used to chit-chat many times about our responsibilities towards society. Certainly, he agreed to volunteer with me, and together we went to a nearly rural village and taught science to girls in school for an entire week. Additionally, my friend also donated free books to the school. Further, we felt satisfied to do our bit for the cause. Hence, if I had not kept that friendship, I would not have gotten an immediate companion for my work.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that old friendships are very useful. This is because those friends are helpful in cases of financial need, and they are easy to convince for charity work.

[Torsten]

Friendship is great. The longer the friendship lasts, the stronger the bond. Although many people forget older friends over time and make new friends for various reasons, I personally agree that it is important to keep old friends. There are two reasons for this, which I will explore in this essay.

First, older friends are helpful in financial crises. Since they have known us for a long time and believe in our integrity, they are able to help us in an emergency situation. It is obvious that friendship is based on trust more than anything else, and a friend in need is indeed a friend. Therefore, if we ask them for support, they will not turn us away directly and will help us as much as they can. Therefore, it is important to maintain old friendships. This is best shown in my personal experience. Two years ago, my cousin had an accident and needed urgent surgery. The hospital required a large advance to be able to perform the surgery. I didn’t have that much savings at that time. Finally, I called one of my old friends from school to help him. Since we had been good friends since childhood, my friend did not hesitate to help me with the financial support at this critical time. So I was able to pay for the surgery in advance, and my cousin was able to get the treatment she needed. I am sure that if I had not maintained the friendship with my old friend, I would not have been able to get the financial help so easily.

Second, I believe it is easier to do charity work together with old friends. In particular, an old friend will be more willing to support the charity work because you know him better over a long period of time and know each other’s thought processes and willingness for a common cause. Of course, no friend would refuse the social cause, but an older friend would be the first to volunteer because you have a better relationship with each other and know each other’s abilities better than anyone else. For example, my dream was to help a non-governmental organization that promotes girls’ education in rural areas. Recently, I learned about such an organization, and I explained to one of my old friends, who was very involved in social issues, its way of working and the kind of initiatives it takes for girls’ education, and we often talked about our responsibility to society. Of course, he agreed to volunteer with me, and together we went to an almost rural village and taught science to girls in the school for a week. In addition, my friend also donated free books to the school. We felt satisfied to have made our contribution to the cause. If I had not maintained this friendship, I would not have had an immediate companion for my work.
In conclusion, I think that old friendships are very useful. Because these friends are helpful when you are in financial need, and you can easily recruit them for charity work.

[spjparmar]

Thanks @Torsten. I learned valuable transitions and different ways of sentence formation.