I’ve written this essay, but I don’t know how to grade it.
I’m hoping for the highest score, but there’s no solid rubric for me to follow because all the other instructions are quite vague. Could you look at my essay for me and tell me what you think? It’s an independant one, and I timed myself for 30min. for planning, writing, and correction.Thank you so much!
Some people in this world like to deal with their worries and stress alone. However, in my opinion, I believe that the best way to deal with stress is not by spending time alone, but with others, like friends or family. I take this stance because it gives the person a chance to talk about it, and it can provide a distraction to forget stress.
Some solitary people believe that they shouldn’t mention their problems to anyone, thinking it may harm their reputation, or that the information may be used against them. These are, of course, plausible worries, but I still think it is worth risking. Telling someone else of their problems may be awkward at first, but with the encouragement and empathy from others, the stress can decrease. Also, others may have had the same problems, and can make recomendations for how they dealt with the stress. Going through this process may give the person an idea of what to do in their current situation and help them prepare for it, which would also give them assurance that everything is going to be alright, reducing the stress level even more. For instance, my sister had a marriage coming up soon, but she was panicking because she didn’t know what to do with herself. I advised her to talk about it with our parents and other married friends, and she did just that. After a long talk with my parents, some conversations with her friends over the phone, and a long bout of tears, she seemed to get over with the stress and became her normal happy self again. Needless to say, she got over her stress because she had released the pent-up stress she had been experiencing, and got advice from others going through, or people who had already gone through the same traumas.
Another reason for my stance is that spending time with others can give a nice distraction and help them to forget about their stress for a while. If a person is cooped up in a room, then they won’t have anything else to think about except for their problems. They would then probably replay the ‘worst-case scenarios’ in their head over and ever again, making the situation seem worse than reality. However, spending time with others can help to forget the problems and give them some time to help them come back to it in a ‘third person point of view’. Objectification can help to see the matters more clearly and help the person to lessen the stress they feel, because most of the time, people have a tendancy to exaggerate and dramatize their problems, then realize it wasn’t a big deal. As a side effect, this can also help the person to get over their stress quicker. For example, my friend was going to get her driver’s licence, but was scared out of her wits, even though she was well prepared. I spent some time with her, assuring her that she wasn’t going to ‘crash into a wall’ or ‘kill the unlucky attendant sitting next to her’, and distracted her with happy thoughts. After a little mindless chattering away from the topic of her worries, she realized that hundreds of other people would be taking the test just like her, and nothing bad would really happen, as it was ‘all in her head’, as she put it.
In short, there are many ways to deal with stress, but I think reducing stress is most efficient and helpful when spending time with others. Dealing with stress alone can be even more stressful, compared to spending time with others. So in conclusion, spending time with other people help to get over stress quicker, and gives a distraction from the stress, which is why I prefer to spend time with others instead of alone.
Well… here’s my essay!
Was it too long…? Wordy? Boring? Please tell me what you think!
P.S. Could you give me a grade on a scale of 0~5?
I’m a Korean, and I believe that they scale the scores from 0~5, not 6.
Again, thank you!
TOEFL listening lectures: What is one way that Internet Addiction Disorder affects sleep?