All students should be required to study art and music?

Hi Kitosdad,

Please help comment my essay.
I’ve timed my writing and I cannot write more than this. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Thanks in advance.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

There are many subjects which are important for students. However, I think students should be required to study art and music because it can help students create more creativity, improve their concentration, and build up relationship with their classmates.

First of all, learning art and music will enable students to think freely and come up with creative ideas. Although there may be rules for creating artworks or learning musical skill, all the rules are not strict and students can create their own artworks or compose their own songs without following all the rules. Furthermore, learning art and music also let students learn visualization skill and this skill are really beneficial when they learn abstract things such as chemistry, and the visualization skill also helps students increase their memory and develop cognitive skill.

Second, art and music play a vital role in increasing concentration. When students are working on their artworks or learning music, they have to concentrate on their works. Students will be more meticulous so that they can do things better. The concentration of students has a great impact on learning not only for art and music, but also other subjects. Many researches have shown that students who learn art and music tend to have more concentration and tend to learn other things quickly and effectively. As we all know that many great scientists are also good at playing musical instruments or creating artworks, for instance, Albert Einstein can play violin very well and Leonardo Da Vinci are also a good at both science and art.

Last but not least, learning music and art will enable students build up relationships with their classmates. This could be a time for relaxing after hardworking hours of learning other serious subjects. Students can even form a musical ban to play together in their schools and this will let students who may not be good at mathematics or science have an alternative and opportunity to build up their confidence. They will be proud of themselves and this is another positive way that other can recognize them.

Students should learn art and music because it is extremely beneficial in many ways. It helps students increase creativity, improve their concentration which could let students learn other subjects better, and build up relationship with their classmates.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a Drama professor

Hi Kitosdad,

Please help comment my essay.
I’ve timed my writing and I cannot write more than this. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Thanks in advance.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

There are many subjects which are important for students. However, I think students should be required to study art and music because it can help students create more creativity, improve their concentration, and build up relationship with their classmates.

First of all, learning art and music will enable students to think freely and come up with creative ideas. Although there may be rules for creating artworks or learning musical skill, all the rules are not strict and students can create their own artworks or compose their own songs without following all the rules. Furthermore, learning art and music also letS students learn visualization skill and this skill IS really beneficial when they learn abstract things such as chemistry, and the visualization skill also helps students increase their memory and develop cognitive skill.

Second, art and music play a vital role in increasing concentration. When students are working on their artworks or learning music, they have to concentrate. on their works. Students will be more meticulous so that they can do things better. The concentration of students has a great impact on learning(,) not only for art and music, but also other subjects. Many researches have shown that students who learn art and music tend to have more concentration and tend to learn other things quickly and effectively. As we all know(,) that many great scientists are also good at playing musical instruments or creating artworks(.) For instance, Albert Einstein COULD play THE violin very well and Leonardo Da Vinci WAS also good at both science and art.

Last but not least, learning music and art will enable students build up relationships with their classmates. This could be a time for relaxing after working hours of learning other serious subjects. Students can even form a musical banD to play together in their schools and this will let students who may not be good at mathematics or science have an alternative and opportunity to build up their confidence. They will be proud of themselves and this is another positive way that other can recognize them.

Students should learn art and music because it is extremely beneficial in many ways. It helps students increase creativity, improveS their concentration which could let students learn other subjects better, and build up relationshipS with their classmates.
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A really great improvement Bug. Proud of you.

Kitos. 9/10

Thanks for your feedback again, Kitosdad.
I will keep delivering essays as much as I have enough time after work and will ask for your feedback again because I have to prepare for the test on this September. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

See you again for my next essay.
Thanks
Aonz