hi, all, I am new here and here is my first essay, could you help give some comments, thank you in advance.
Topic
Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men and possibly women. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
My answer
Nowadays, in many countries, young men have to attend military for several years after they graduate from school. The advocates who consider such method as a good idea claim that this system should be extended to all around world and maybe also include women. In my opinion, military experience is good for individuals’ development, however this policy is not suitable for all nations and people.
On the one hand, entering military after leaving school has many advantages for individuals. First, along with fast developing economy, competitions between individuals are getting more and more fierce, there are not plenty job opportunities for every young people after they leave school, therefore, joining to military is a good choice when they are not able to get satisfactory position at that time. Second, in some ways, I think, military is also a school in which all people there eat, train, and live together, young men can learn how to get along with others and how to work in team work which they can not get in other schools. And after leaving military, most of them would establish brother like relationships. In addition, they wound find they get more muscles and become more mature, the time they spend there would be treasures in the memories. Last, every time people think of the fact that he has ever contributed to guard motherland, a sense of honor will foster, thus he will have more self confident to deal with difficulties in his life.
On the other hand, such policy is not suitable for all nations, country and individuals' need should also be taken into account, for example, China has about 1.4 billion people, and only 1 million soldiers are need in this peace time. Requiring most young men enter military is not reality. Furthermore not all individuals would like to go to military. For some people, being imposed such service will disturb their normal work and life. Imaging being asked to join to compulsory service when you just receive the offer you have been dreaming for, what would you react, unless you have definitely something wrong, you would be desperate I believe.
After considering the analysis above, I think we can safely come to our conclusion that although experience of military service is very helpful for young people, we should also consider the needs of individuals and country, not all nations are suitable to adopt this system.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a bookstore sales clerk and a student