A TOEFL Essay Waiting for Feedback

TOEFL independent writing:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Nowadays it is easier to maintain good health than it is in the past?

Health issues became a hot topic today because more and more people are suffering from physical and mental problems than ever. However, some people still insist that it is easier to maintain good health today than it was in the past. I personally believe it is more difficult to stay in good health in the present than ever. It will be elaborated as follows.

First, healthy food is rarely planted. Over 80% of arable land in the world have been polluted or degraded due to people overusing fertilizer, as well as it being excessively irrigated, according to the newly updated data claimed by World Agriculture Organization. Another fact is that genetically modified food (GMF) is gradually banned in developed countries but they have caused numerous health problems for our body. To be worse, they are still occupying a relatively big market in a myriad of developing countries today. At the same time, in developed nations such as US and European countries, GMF is not directly consumed by people, but livestock still feed on them. Some people might well argue that people can consume organic food to prevent this from happening, but the fact is, according to the latest survey, 90 percent of citizens in China cannot afford organic foods because their prices tend to be three times higher than conventional foods. Even in USA, not many people can afford organic foods all the time. Therefore, how do people stay in good health when they only consume unhealthy foods?

Second, more and more people are suffering from physical and mental health issues in the last 30 years. Since motor vehicles were popularly used, like cars, buses, airplane etc., physical diseases like obesity, heart diseases and diabetes are greatly diagnosed among people. With the wide application of computers and iPhones in recent years, the three diseases have become rampant and deadly. However, they rarely happened in the past. Besides, mental health has become another tough challenge for us today such as anxiety and depression. The main reason is that fewer physical activities causes insufficient dopamine to be released depressing our mood. However, today’s common diseases and mental problems may never have been heard in the past.

Maybe some people argue today we have more professional and advanced medical technologies for curing unexpected diseases than we have in the past. Yes, it can be a benefit while it cannot prevent the tendency of physical and mental health from getting worse.

Based on the above information, it can be concluded that it is harder to maintain good health in the present. This situation will last even longer than we can imagine because today we have to confront more complex challenges than ever to keep in good health.

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Hi, your writing skills most certainly will be sufficient to please the TOEFL people so good luck with your exam. I guess that’s all you care about.

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Thank you! it is very kind of you to say it.

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