a job with more vacation time or a job with a higher salary but less free time

Dear Kitos:
Here is my new essay. Please give me some advice.
Thank you

With the accelerated pace of life in modern society, people feel more stress than before, thus rising a conflict there: high salary job with less free time or more vacation time with a low pay. Considering the truth of life, I will choose the later one.
For one thing, people can feel more relaxed by enjoying the vacation. Work is not the main rhythm of life. What we need is a happy life with fewer burdens from the outside. So if we have a job with more vacation time, it is better for us to enjoy a more comfortable life which can bring us a better health both in physiology and psychology. As a recent research shows, in modern society people are wealthier but they feel less happiness. Why? Because they bear so much pressure in their career which leads to less time to relax themselves. Thus diseases are caused by these serious stresses. At most times ,mental disease appears among people. They even can not fall asleep during the long night. Of course, they are unhappy. As a result, it is necessary for people to have more free time to relax themselves.
For another thing, people can spend more time with friends and family members. Compared to money, the relationship between people is more precious because we all need love to light up our life. I know a man who was at a high place in a famous company. He always spent a lot of time in his job thus his wife and daughter were ignored by him. When he retired, he just found that he even could not communicate with his family because they always lacked connection. Finally he realized that no matter how successful his career was, family and the love between family members were the most valuable.
Admittedly, money can bring us many benefits, such as higher status in society, better food , housing and medical care. However, those are not what we really need in life. Enjoying a happy life and sharing the love with each other is the truth of life. So it is hard for a person with less time to process these things, although he has a lot of money.
In a word, a successful career doesn’t mean a successful life. So a job with more vacation time is better for us to have a wonderful life.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university professors

Dear Kitos:
Here is my new essay. Please give me some advice.
Thank you

With the accelerated pace of life in modern society, people feel more stress than before, thus raising a conflict there: whether to choose an high salary job with less free time, or a job that offers more vacation time with a low pay scale. Considering the truth of life, I will choose the latter one.
For one thing, people can feel more relaxed by enjoying their vacation. Work is not the main rhythm of life. What we need is a happy life with fewer burdens from the outside. So if we have a job with more vacation time, it is better for us to enjoy a more comfortable life which can bring us better health both in physiology and psychology. As a recent research shows, in modern society people today are wealthier, but they are not so happy. Why? Because they bear so much pressure in their careers which leads to less time to relax themselves. Thus diseases are caused by these serious stresses. At most times mental diseases appear among people. They cannot fall asleep during the long night. Of course, they are unhappy. As a result, it is necessary for people to have more free time to relax themselves.
For another thing, people can spend more time with friends and family members. Compared to money, the relationship between people is more precious because we all need love to light up our life. I know a man who was in a high position in a famous company. He always spent a lot of time in his job, thus his wife and daughter were ignored by him. When he retired, he found that he could not even communicate with his family because they always lacked connection. Finally he realized that no matter how successful his career was, family and the love between family members were the most valuable assets.
Admittedly, money can bring us many benefits, such as higher status in society, better food , housing and medical care. However, those are not what we really need in life. Enjoying a happy life and sharing the love with each other is the truth of life. So it is hard for a person with less time to process these things, although he has a lot of money.
In a word, a successful career doesn’t mean a successful life. So a job with more vacation time is better for us to have a wonderful life.

This is really good work Yesterday. I feel that you are at last identifying the way we Brits write and think. :slight_smile: I can only applaud you for your progress. Well done.

“They cannot fall asleep.” Note that cannot is usually written as one word.

Kitos. 9/10

Thank you sir. I owe it to your patience towards my work.

Thank you sir. I owe it to your patience towards my work.

I have learned a lot about this essay. Thank you!